so, it’s been 5 days.

Hey Friends! Hope you’re doing well! Here’s a few things the Lord has placed on my heart recently!

“My brain is racing with things I need to do and worries about leaving as I’m trying to sleep. I can’t. There’s a weight on my chest. I feel like I’m barely breathing. It hurts. The mixture of anxiousness and excitement, the sadness and joy all jumbled together. It’s a lot. My brain won’t quiet. I try to sit in the presence of the spirit. My own heart won’t calm. I ask the Lord for comfort and peace and still I’m suffocating. I begin to write. Writing is easier for me. Easier than speaking. Easier than talking. Writing is a safe place for me. A place where I can express my feelings and know that only I have access to them unless I choose differently. A lot of times I’m writing to the Lord. My writing tells Him how I feel because it’s hard to me to speak out my hurt, my worry, my fear. 4 days…. that’s the number of days until my life turns upside down. That’s the number of days until I say goodbye to my family. That’s the number of days until I get to see my beautiful H squad community again. Tears stream down my cheeks as I write this. I’m sad. I’m excited. I’m fearful. I’m reminding myself over and over that the Lord is good even when things are hard. Even when I have to say goodbye to my brother and sister for 9 months. Even when I’m giving up hugs and time spent with my parents. even when I’m fearful of all the things to come. The Lord is so good. I’m taking time to step into this next season, expecting the Lord to provide, expecting Him to be faithful, as he’s always been to me, and going to bed with a joyful, but heavy, heavy heart, knowing that Jesus is better. Living life with him is better than anything in this world. He’s reminding me that even when life gets hard, when my face is wet with tears, living life with Jesus is still so so sweet.”

 

These are the words I wrote just 4 days prior to leaving for the world race, and now It’s officially been 5 days of being here in Gainesville, Georgia and oh how sweet it’s been. On Saturday I had to say the hardest goodbye to my parents and siblings. Lots of tears were shed, and my heart ached as we gave each other final hugs before I began this journey on the world race. I know at times, I’ll miss my friends and family so much, but I also know that this is where the Lord has placed me and this is where He wants me to be. The past 5 days have just been full of so much joy and learning. The Lord has already shown up and He’s already teaching me so much. 

 

This group of people is just full of so much love for the Lord. Getting to spend time with them, worship with them, and live life with them is such a gift. I’ve never been around a group of people so passionate for Christ. I was reading Letters to the Church by Francis Chan earlier today, and he puts it this way, “I actually feel closer to God while praying alongside my church family! It’s as if I can sense His actual presence in the room with us. It makes me want to stay in a room with them all because I want to get as close to Jesus as possible.” There are no truer words to describe what this time has been like. The Lord is ever present, but especially here in this place with these people that I get to choose to call my family, my church. 

 

His faithfulness always shines through. Even in my doubt, He is faithful. The Lord has really been inviting me into so many places in the past few days. 

 

He’s inviting me to have a joyful heart

 

He’s inviting me to remember His faithful love

 

He’s inviting me to share that faithful love with others

 

He’s inviting me to be a person of honor

 

He’s inviting me to help others see how he makes them clean 

 

He’s inviting me to fight for His people

 

And,

 

He’s inviting me to lean into His words in order to know Him better

Truly, these five days have been a time of growth, a time of intimacy with the Father, and a time to press into the things he is speaking into my life. I cannot wait to see what else the Lord will do in the coming days, weeks, and months. 

 

I encourage you to take time today, open your bible, ask the Lord to speak to you. He wants to. Take time to listen and learn. There really is nothing better than growing and becoming more of the person that Christ wants you to be. 

 

In Christ, 

Haley Kretz